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According to Chinese Medicine, Autumn see the yang energy of summer receding and a rising yin energy which encourages a more inward focus.  During the summer, which is ruled by the fire element, we tend to deal more with the external as we spend time outdoors. Autumn, on the other hand, is a time of organising your life for the winter season ahead and coming more inside your body and mind to reflect on your life.

Chinese medicine associates metal with the Autumn and the emotions of grief, sadness, reflection and “letting go” are all significant to this element.   There has long been a tradition of ceremonies devoted to reflection and mourning in this part of the year.

As we all know a fertility journey is often one of pain and loss and you might want to draw on traditional rituals to support you. 

1st November – Samhain

The idea of a November festival honouring the dead has ancient roots.  At Samhain (November 1st), according to the Celts, the boundaries between worlds were at their weakest and the spirits of the dead could return to Earth. The transition period from autumn to winter was thought in ancient times to include the return of the souls of the departed to the warmth and light they remembered from their former lives.

31st October – Halloween

Halloween (or All Hallows’ Eve) begins the three-day observance of Allhallowtide the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows) and martyrs.  

1st November is All Hallows’ Day (also known as All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day) where every faithful soul who has not been elevated to sainthood is remembered and prayed for.  

Halloween is seen as the night on which evil spirits have their last fling before the good spirits arrive to chase them away the next day.

1st and 2nd November – Los Muertos

The Day of the Dead is a Mexican festival which focuses on gatherings of family and friends to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died, and help support their spiritual journey.

Less well known than the ‘Day of the Dead is ‘The Day of the Children’ which comes the day before. On 1st November. Shrines are made for children that include pictures and favourite food and toys as well as candles and incense – whose light and fragrance are said to help guide the spirits home.  Both festivals are times to celebrate the life of the person who has been lost rather than to mourn – as tears are believed to make the path slippery for those trying to return.

The Mexicans say there are three deaths: one when you die; one when you are buried and one when you are forgotten.  The Day of the Dead makes sure that your beloved will never suffer the third death and will always be remembered.  

You might want to make time in this season to remember the child(ren) you have loved and lost – maybe you held them for a while in your womb, maybe they were born sleeping, or maybe you have known them only in your mind.  You could put some fresh flowers in a beautiful vase or light a candle in your window and hold them in your heart – they will always be remembered.

Saying Goodbye is a charity who support anyone who has lost a baby and they organise Remembrance Services throughout the UK.  You can find more information here: